Things that I'm paranoid about

So far, I've posted many level headed things, but there is a dark side. I'm paranoid about a bunch of things O.O
1. Zombies: I know they're real, you just need to wait for the right time...
I always picturing it going like this: I'm sitting in my couch, watching T.V like a lazy person... oh wait, I AM one ^.^
So, I'm watching T.V and the zombies crowd around my house without me noticing. I look to my right? no left... no, I was right, It's right. I look to my right because I see some movement and see a bunch of dead people with a lot of blood all over them and one smashes the window and I run into the basement to get my Zombie Preparedness Kit (I actually have one, I'm not kidding It consists of 2 baseball bats, band-aid tape, a sleeping bag, and the knife that is now in the kitchen... my mom took it away :(... ) and start killing zombies on my way to get upstairs, I may not make it, we'll figure that out when the invasion begins. I run upstairs and open my window that doesn't have a screen on it b/c I left it that way. I then can jump out of my house and get to my bike, or my mom/dad's car If necessary. From there I can... well... I haven't really gotten that far...

2. Ohio: Yes, Ohio the state, I have had a Paranoia about that state since the 7th grade. I feel that that will be where the invasion starts. It is also the state that just SOUNDS like it'll steal away all your friends, doesn't it OHIO, the demon state (No offense if your from there... My paranoia...)

3. Carbon Monoxide sensors: I always feel that the government or some really big company has sold us these sensors that don't actually work so, when they extinguish the population of USA, they will kill us all with Carbon Monoxide and our sensors won't go off. It's all a conspiracy

4. Fires: Although I am quite the pyro, I know that there will be a fire when I am sleeping and I will become roasted over night

5. Lin Biao, Elvis Presley, JFK, Amelia Earhart: They are all not dead... much.... They all are in Taiwan living it up... not much of a paranoid thing, just a conspiracy...that is TRUE

6. Everyone that claims to be a girl online: I always think that they are fat guys at home... with strange fetishes... If u actually are a girl, that's great but u can't prove it

7. Churches: All I'm gonna say is that I just don't like abstinence... I Disagree... The churches are trying to rid the earth of reproduction EVERYWHERE! What? I didn't say anything... what're you talking about... silly children

8. My future wife: She will probably die in no way that I can prove.... Why?! WHYYYY!?!?! Although.. I don't actually have any plans for getting married...

So ya, that's pretty much all of my paranoias so... sleep tight(?)...

 EDIT:
9. This hallway in my school that looks like it's from a slasher movie:
I keep thinking Jason is gonna kill me when I go in there...

10. Rodents: They seem cute and cuddly, but they're either plotting to RULE THE WORLD... or they're just gonna eat ur face off....